Having money problems in marriage is not uncommon. And if we’re being honest here, my husband and I don’t agree on everything when it comes to money. There’s really not a lot of things we disagree on, but just one thing regarding money.
That is Credit cards. We seriously have to just agree to disagree before both of us gets in a heated discussion talking about it.
A while ago I read Dave Ramsey’s book, The Total Money Makeover, and saw a completely different side of money. That’s what peaked my interest about learning as much as I can, (therefore sharing my findings on here) about money. One thing that he is very clear on is not having credit cards.
I haven’t ever liked credit cards. I’ve never had one and probably never will. Just thinking about them stresses me out. It also stresses me out to worry about making the payments and forgetting to pay it. Therefore accumulating interest and being stuck in financial hell. It’s also just a pain to input the credit card transactions in my budget since they don’t show up for a couple of weeks.
Having said that, my husband DOES have a credit card. His parents always had one so now he has one. His parents have always used a rewards credit card for their business, resulting in earning rewards or cash that they can get after they spend so much. My husband loves the idea of earning cash on things that you are all ready buying and always uses his credit card. He also pays it off EVERY month because there is no way I would be okay with him using it without paying it off and accumulating debt.
Right now you’re probably thinking, “She’s so dumb, if you pay off the credit card every month and earn extra money what’s the big deal?” That’s what my husband says whenever this subject accidentally comes up in conversation. (We try to avoid it at all costs! I know, probably not the best marriage advice.) The reason I don’t is because I simply don’t agree with credit cards and what they’re supposed to be for. They’re supposed to be just a borrowed line of credit and companies promote them by claiming debt is a good thing. It’s not a good thing.
I also don’t want to get in the mindset that we can use our credit card even when we don’t have money to pay for it. So, I just don’t have one, and my husband just uses his and we go on our merry way.
I know that was a long story and whether or not you agree with my side or his side is not the point. (I’ll give you a free printable if you say you agree with me!) The point is, you won’t always agree with your spouse when it comes to money.
According to the Huffington Post, not agreeing when it comes to finances is the seventh leading cause for divorce. This is not something that is ideal and that is why I’m giving you my two-sense on handling the situation when you and your spouse don’t agree about money.
1.
Know that it is okay to disagree. I absolutely love my husband and trust him completely whether it’s with money or anything else. But, I also know that we aren’t always going to agree on things and that’s okay. It would be weird if my husband and I agreed on EVERYTHING. We each have our own unique opinions and interests and that doesn’t make us wrong. Except when I’m right, then he’s wrong. 🙂
If you do disagree then try to look at both sides of what you’re disagreeing on. Don’t get angry because your spouse doesn’t see your point. Figure out how you can still work together but do things your own way. (Like my husband and I with the credit cards.) In some cases it might also be good to talk to a financial professional. (I know you all thought I was a professional, I feel flattered!) Sometimes getting someone else’s opinion on the matter can help shed some light on what you’re disagreeing on. It can also make you realize that your husband you could be wrong.
2.
Even though we have different opinions, that doesn’t mean we don’t have the same goals. Both my husband and I want to retire early and have enough saved up to live an enjoyable, financial free life. If that means that he has a credit card and pays it off every month so we are still able to save money and not go into debt, then that isn’t stopping us from reaching our goal. By me not having a credit card it isn’t stopping us from reaching our goal. We will get there together while we do this one thing separately.
Figure out what goals your spouse has for your financial future and compare them to yours. How are they similar, how are they different? Maybe you guys both want the same thing, and that’s great! If you don’t have the same goals as your spouse then see how you can help them achieve their money goal, and vice versa.
3.
Sometimes you have to take one for the team. Because I do love my husband I try my hardest not to complain. Especially when I do the budget and completely miss the credit card transactions because they didn’t come through yet, therefore ruining my budget and making me fix it. (I’m just kidding, that doesn’t happen …. too often.) Sometimes it is a challenge for me with the way the credit card is set up to put it in the budget, but that’s okay. I love him enough to handle it anyways, not always with a smile on my face, but I do it.
If your spouse is doing something that is not deterring you from reaching your financial goals together, then don’t stress about it. It’s not worth the fight to always have it your way. I know that’s a lot easier said than done!
So no, you’re not always going to get along when it comes to money. Having money problems in marriage is just part of being with someone else. You’re going to have some differences and headaches along the way. Just remember not to get too worked up about it. I would much rather be homeless with my husband than living in a fancy house without him.
What do you do to compromise with your spouse?
Clarissa says
This was a great read – your advice can apply to so many other disagreements in relationships too! It’s okay to disagree, as long as these principles are present <3
-Clarissa @ The View From Here
McKenzy Potter says
You’re totally right! It can apply to other problems in relationships not just with money. Thanks for reading ?